By the Numbers: Week 6, 2014

Last week I kicked off this article idea (that I totally stole, but it’s something fans have done for years regardless) and this week I’m giving it a name. “By the Numbers” is what I settled on, so when you see that in a post title you’ll know I’m about to make predictions about the week in Football. So let’s see how I did last week.

Not great, but not terrible. I correctly picked nine out of fifteen games correctly, but the scores I had listed were nowhere near accurate. I’m not going to worry about that though, and I’ll still include the scores in this week’s picks as well. I was surprised by some of my picks, as they seemed like shoo-ins, but then there was an upset. In some of the picks I made where I was hoping for an upset, there was no such luck. The season is still pretty wide open though as the only undefeated teams both went down this last week, so at best teams have a 4-1 record. Surprising which teams those are as well. Still, the season is still young, there’s ten more weeks of the gridiron and the best of the best will start showing up over the next couple of months. Let’s get on to this week’s picks.

Week 6, 2014 Predictions

Thursday Night
Indianapolis Colts vs Houston Texans

The Texans D is looking more like what we’ve grown to know, and J.J. Watt is still a beast but the Colts have Luck, and he seems to be getting things done for them. This one could really go either way, as both teams are sitting at the league average of 3-2. I’m still going to side with Luck because the Texans don’t really have a QB.

Verdict: Colts 28, Texans 13

Sunday
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cleveland Browns

I want to say that the Steelers will win this game, because I typically pick them when they play 2nd rate teams like the Browns. BUT, they did already drop a game to the Bucs, and their rivalry with the Browns has seen them lose quite a few times in the past. I’m calling the underdog upset, but it will most likely still be a close game.

Verdict: Browns 13, Steelers 10

New England Patriots vs Buffalo Bills

This is another game like the one above it, where the underdog has been known to upset the favorite. The Pats turned things around last week after putting up a pisspoor performance the week before. I think Brady is still mad that people are questioning him, and I think he takes it to the Bills. I said it last week, Orton is a shit QB. He might have gotten an upset last week vs. Detroit, but it’s a new week, and the Pats are a better team than the Lions down the stretch.

Verdict: Patriots 31, Bills 7

Carolina Panthers vs Cincinnati Bengals

Tough call here. Both teams can shine and both can be downright ugly. I don’t really care for the black cats, so I’m going with the striped cats. That’s really all I have to say.

Verdict: Bengals 21, Panthers 17

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Tennessee Titans

Ew. Just ew. This game… are there people who actually would want to watch this? If I lived in Florida or Tennessee, I’d be a fan of a team from out of state. People actually pay money to watch games like this? I imagine high school games are more entertaining. I guess I have to pick on though right? I’ll be nice and give the kitties some love.

Verdict: Jaguars 14, Titans 3

Green Bay Packers vs. Miami Dolphins

I cheated and looked at the dope sheet for this game. Turns out that the Dolphins have had the Packers’ number numerous times. The Packers did beat them last time they went into Miami, but lost the last time the fins came to Lambeau in overtime. Their head coach is also our former offensive coordinator, so he knows a thing or two about what we like to do. But I’m not going against my own team, so of course we’re gonna win, even in the humid swampland.

Verdict: Packers 27, Tunafish 14

Detroit Lions vs. Minnesota Vikings

Another match up in the NFC North. I wouldn’t care about this game either way, except that I need the Vikings to win so that when we beat the tuna, we get to take first place of the division. So, uh go Vikings. Hope you get Bridgewater back otherwise it might be another long day (remember last week?).

Verdict: Vikings 17, Lions 13

Denver Broncos vs. New York Jets

The loljets aren’t beating Denver. Not after what they’ve been through already this year. They can’t even figure out if they like Geno Smith or Mike Vick better (hint: They both suck). I don’t think they’ll put up another goose egg, but I think they get manhandled.

Verdict: Broncos 42, Jets 7

Baltimore Ravens vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I picked the Ravens last week, and they failed. I’m picking them again though, because the Bucs make me laugh. The lower tier teams do pull off some upsets here and there, but I think Flacco is preparing to right the ship.

Verdict: Ravens 24, Bucs 13

San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders

After manhandling the Jets last week and not allowing a single point, the Raiders have no hope of taking out the red-hot Chargers. However, SD has been known to start hot and fizzle out, and the Raiders like to pull the upset, especially on them. I’m going to stick with the SD pick, but you never know with the Raiders.

Verdict: Chargers 27, Raiders 14

Chicago Bears vs. Atlanta Falcons

I’m starting to lose faith in the Falcons. They had been a rather good team for many years (still failing in the playoffs, but getting there nonetheless), but they keep dropping the ball. Losing the the Giants isn’t laughable, but I still don’t see them doing it against the Bears. I want the Bears to lose along with those other divisional picks I already made so the Packers can take 1st place in the north, but I don’t see them losing this one. But now that I think about it, it doesn’t matter because the Bears are already a game behind.

Verdict: Bears 28, Falcons 21

Dallas Cowboys vs. Seattle Seahawks

It was surprising that Seattle let Washington stick around in the game on Monday night. They were shooting themselves in the foot, but it happened, and that’s worrisome because the Cowboys are better than the skins, at least this year. I don’t see Seattle dropping this game though, unless they continue to shoot themselves in the foot. Dallas is hot right now, sitting at 4-1, but we haven’t really seen the Romo we’re all accustomed to, and he hasn’t been throwing at/around the LoB. Expect him to throw at least one pick this game.

Verdict: Seahawks 21, Cowboys 10

Washington Redskins vs. Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals are mad they aren’t undefeated anymore. The skins are playing like shit. Arizona takes it. Nuff said.

Verdict: Cardinals 24, Redskins 7

New York Giants vs. Philadelphia Eagles

The Eggles look terrible this year. That high flying offense led by Foles has disappeared, replaced by something else. The Giants on the other hand have been doing pretty well for themselves, and I don’t see them stopping now. October is typically a good month for them. Giants take it.

Verdict: Giants 21, Eggles

Monday Night
San Francisco 49ers vs. St. Louis Rams

Why oh why do we have to see games like this on Monday night? Kap is a retard and the Rams haven’t had Bradford for more than a game or two for years. Aside from a couple years with Kurt Warner the Rams have always been trash (even then I think Kurt Warner is overrated). I don’t see the 9ers losing, but stranger things have happened.

Verdict: 49ers 31, Rams 10

Bye Week: Saints, Chiefs

There you go, another week down, more picks down. We’ll see how I did next week. Until then.