The Beast Within

So as I mentioned, yesterday Ted had a party of sorts. He invited us to cruise over at 8 p.m., and I took the beer I had purchased the day before. When we arrived, there were about 10 people there, and ted was grilling meat for tacos. We got a tour of his house (a 6 bed 4 bath two story) and it was huge. Really nice too, but expensive. Still, split 5 ways it didn’t seem too bad. He introduced us to his roommates, two of which I already knew, and two that were brothers. We began to drink and more people began to show up.

We had a pretty good time, and I met some new people, along with seeing many I already knew. A lot of day shift casino employees were present, along with a few people who I kind of knew.

Ted has a friend named Tovah, and the name sounded familiar to me. After some discussion, I discovered that she (along with her man) used to be my next door neighbors a few years back. We bullshitted a bit, and they were pretty cool. One of the roommates at the house also said he thought I looked familiar, and after a little chat, turns out we went to high school together and graduated the same year. What a small world!

Later in the night, my ex-girlfriend’s little brother showed up out of nowhere, and I was pretty surprised, not thinking he would know anyone there, but I guess he knew Tyler, one of the roommates. I talked with him for a while, and he was still pretty much the same old dude.

Later still, after I had a pretty good buzz going, I almost started a fight. I wasn’t intending to, I was just speaking my mind to a dude that was wearing a cowboy hat. I said something along the lines of that being queer, and then asked him why he was wearing it. I guess he thought about getting ballsy with me, but then he backed off and left and I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. Gina yelled at me for trying to start a fight, but I wasn’t aware that’s what I was doing. We also go into a little shit talking match with a couple of the guys from work, who came after they got off. Two guys I really don’t like and have to work with on a regular basis. Gina told them they should go home and go to bed because they’re old, and they muttered things under their breath and that was about it.

The evening ended pretty well. Someone hooked their iPod up to the surround system in the living room and I hijacked it, playing what I wanted to hear and they had decent taste in music. We spent the last hour or so screaming songs and dancing around with a couple other dudes with similar tastes. It was fun. I started to pass out on the couch and next thing I knew I was in the car and then I was home. I sort of blacked out, and then it was morning. Gina told me that I was being pretty mean after we got home, but I don’t remember a thing.

As such, we’ve decided to quit drinking. Yes, I’m going to quit. No, I’m not going to cheat. Well, we discussed having a couple once in a great while socially, but I might not even do that. The problem with me is that once I start drinking, I don’t stop until I black out or pass out. Passing out doesn’t worry me, it’s the blacking out that does. I don’t want to do something I regret. Plus, it would be a lot easier to go out if I didn’t drink, as I wouldn’t have to worry about how to get home, spending the night in uncomfortable places, or just saying “fuck it”, and driving. I can’t afford a DUI.

Plus, today I had the worst hangover ever, and I’m just sick of those. There have been rare occasions where I’ve been able to only drink a couple beers, and I don’t have any hangovers then, but I really just am not enjoying it anymore. This will simplify my life a bit, and I think I’ll be better for it. I was heading down a dark road, and I don’t want to end up regretting something.